THE (first) MOVE

Just across the country, not out of it- yet. 

But It has happened! After months of prep, selling all my stuff and the house, and then 10 days of travel, I have arrived and settled in Seattle. I wanted to write throughout the trip but never really got around to it- honestly I wish I had so I could write the feelings as they were fresh, rather than recalling them after the fact.) I was taking my time and visiting people along the way so it wasn’t a high intensity drive, but it was still 10 days on the road with 3 cats, 2 geckos, 4 snakes and a tarantula (didn’t find the T a home before I left so will be continuing looking here).

So I want to step back a bit and take you on my journey. I left Oklahoma on Wednesday, April 23rd. I managed to move the timeline up a little to avoid the coming week of storms, which turned out to be an excellent idea as those storms brought lots of rain, hail and flooding! I left early and was rewarded with clear weather basically through my entire trip! 

Although, I didn’t escape Oklahoma on the first day, I stayed one final night in the panhandle to break up the drive to my first stop- Pueblo, Colorado. On the second day, I crossed the boarder out of Oklahoma, flipped it the bird and never looked back! Finally free! Good riddance! I wish I could leave on better terms but Oklahoma was not good for me and my mental health is a dumpster fire after over a decade of suffering there. 

I stayed the weekend in Pueblo, visiting a good friend and waiting out some foggy rainy weather. It isn’t the prettiest part of Colorado but it has it’s own charm, mostly that my friend lives there! With any luck, he will also be escaping the states on his own journey! I am very grateful I was able to visit him on my way out and I hope we’ll meet again in far off lands.

Alas, I had to continue my journey and headed north, following the remnants of the Great Plains all the way up to Montana. There were some beautiful mountain views along the way and the vastness of the rolling hills and open plains was impressive… but also a little upsetting. There were some points where I could see for miles, just endless waves of grass, but it was… empty. Logically I know it wasn’t “empty” the plains are teaming with smaller details of life I cannot see from a vehicle speeding down the highway but also logically I knew that I was being cheated. For the emptiness stems from the lack of herds that should be there, used to be there. The Great Plains of North America was once, just as bursting with life as the Serengeti of Africa. My eyes sought the herds of bison, thousands strong, that once roamed the land, the bounding pronghorns as they leapt through the grass -the only remnants of antelope we have left on this side of the world- maybe even a pack of wolves on the hunt or an American plains lion, long since extinct. But there was nothing. Empty. Silent. There wasn’t even really many cows, not that they would have been a welcome sight in this context. What I did see, was fencing. Why? Every single inch of the vast plains was lined with barbed wire. It just seemed so…sad. For us to drive these species to near extinction just to fence off their land and then what? Do nothing with it? Maybe it is the ecologist and conservationist in me but the lack of macrofauna certainly diminished the vast impressiveness of the plains as a whole. 

Still, the further I got from Oklahoma, the lighter my heart felt, especially as I approached the mountains! Driving along the Rockies, curving around the landscape and dipping through the valleys. I distinctly remember climbing the foothills and coming to an opening in the land that revealed the mountain range before me, snow-capped peaks and the untamed wilds of the harsher terrain that stretched towards the broad sky. It actually brought a tear to my eyes and I felt my soul reaching for those mountains. The Rockies were the first mountains I ever knew and I always felt like that was home. 

Though, not all mountains are created equal. The Rockies may have been the first I knew, but they aren’t quite what I need. At least not the parts that I had seen so far. Mountains leading into scrub and grasslands are still a little off for my tastes. I need trees. And there were many hours spent on that road where not a single tree was seen! But the further I went, the lighter I felt. 

In Montana I started heading west, finally getting to cross the mountains! My family had made me a little paranoid about crossing the mountains while hauling a trailer and all the things to be careful of and to look out for and honestly, it was just a beautiful drive! My car had no trouble with the trailer and the interstate was minimally curvy and hilly. The drive was absolutely stunning though! And these mountains had trees! Oh how part of me wishes I could have just disappeared into the rocky woods to make my life among the wilds that my soul is most attuned to. As I traversed through my ideal habitat, my domain, I could feel the connection, as though my spirit was reaching into the land itself to entangle my essence with the heart of the world. I used to feel such a deep connection to nature all the time, but not for a long while… 

Although my mind was experiencing some sort of spiritual awakening with this return to nature, reality called and the logistics of my travel with animals was still it’s own challenge and entertainment!

I learned on day one that letting the cats just have access to the entire back of the car was a far better solution that trying to keep them in kennels. I had a net behind my seat so they couldn’t climb into the front with me but otherwise the back of the vehicle was set up as a bed for me to sleep in along the way. They spaced themselves out well enough and were perfectly calm and quiet for the entire trip! When we stopped for the night they got a chance to use the litter box, drink some water, and eat something, which they all did after the first day.

Zodiac, though… Zodiac was made to be a travel cat!

He was excited to get out and explore everywhere we stopped! We discovered natures scratching posts and then he needed to scratch on every tree in sight! I probably will have to take this thing on walks for the rest of his life now -.- although, he is quite happily settled in now that we are no longer on the move. 

So we made it. A long drive, a beautiful one filled with sorrow and enlightenment and a breath of hope. I should be exhausted enough to not want to move again for at least a few days, and I am in some ways, but I am also invigorated and restless! I want to explore the terrain here! I want to see the rain forest and the mountains and the tide pools and even parts of the city! I want to meet people and try new food and experience the Market! The big one, Pikes Place, a bucket list thing for me! I am EXCITED about life!

For the first time in a long time…

I am still anxious and wary. I still worry for the future. I can’t ignore the political turmoil for too long and I will need to start working on my next steps of escape but for now… for a short while… I just want to rediscover why it all matters. Why I care so much that I WANT to escape in the first place.

Why I want to LIVE.